5 Lessons You Need To Know About Building Confidence

Building Confidence

Self confidence is something that we all deserve, but it’s also something that takes effort. Building confidence at work or in life is a gradual process.

You should realize that confidence is not determined by your genetics, but rather a skill that can be developed. 

In this post I will answer the following:

  • Why Are Some People More Confident Than Others?
  • What Are The Behaviors of A Confident Person?
  • What Makes A Person Look More Confident?
  • How Do I Become More Confident?
  • How Can I Help Someone Else With Low Self-Confidence/Self-Esteem?

Building Confidence

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Lesson #1 – Why Are Some People More Confident Than Others?

If you lack self-confidence, you most likely have negative self-talk happening inside your head. You may think you’re stupid, ugly, mediocre, etc., but these are just words.

Remember, just because a thought pops into your head, doesn’t make it true. This type of thinking is self-defeating and will only limit the possibilities for yourself.

Those who are more confident don’t take these types thoughts to heart (from themselves or others).

To start becoming more confident, the first step is to keep reminding yourself why building your self-confidence is worth it. Recognize the negative thoughts when they appear and replace them with more positive ones. Do this over and over again until it is naturally occuring.


Related: 5 Styles of Meditation For Any Intention

Building Confidence

Lesson #2 – What Are The Behaviors of A Confident Person?

I’m sure you have heard the quote “Fake It Til You Make It”.  This phrase is used in showbiz and competitions. On camera actors may seem like the world is theirs, but inside they may be terrified and self conscious.

Even the act of “faking” confidence can help you to be more confident. 

Surprisingly, acting as though you are already confident can help you to start building confidence within yourself! Again, self-confidence is a skill that you can build over time.

Old habits are notoriously tough to break,  which is why positive reinforcement should become a routine practice to start building confidence.

Here are a few ways to practice positive self-esteem and confidence.

Good Habits to Start:

  • Talk Positively About Yourself (In and Out of Your Head)
  • Take Care of Yourself and Your Hygiene
  • Practice Good Posture
  • Engage Yourself With Good People
  • Practice Questioning Your Negative Thoughts


Bad Habits To Stop:

  • Comparing Yourself To Others
  • Over-apologizing
  • Caring Too Much About What Other People Think
  • Wishing For Things To Happen Without Taking Action


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Lesson #3 – What Makes A Person Look More Confident?

We have all had an embarrassing moment or two, but so does everyone else! More than likely, people aren’t even paying attention to what you’re doing because they are so absorbed in themselves.

You could ruminate about what you think other people may be thinking, but more than likely it’s not even the true. It’s important to just be your natural self.

Everyone has their own quirks, and those quirks are what make you… you!
Stop putting so much effort into trying to make a great impression with everyone. The worrying is what will diminish your appearance of confidence.

Just be calm, and pay attention to the moment, not what is going on in anyone’s head (including yours!)

People who are appear confident…

  • Smile
  • Take care of their personal hygiene
  • Engage in conversation
  • Try new things
  • Nurture social relationships
  • Are authentically themselves


As a woman, confidence is one of the powers you hold to help break the glass ceiling. Subsequently, even on the off chance that someone is gossiping about you, keep moving forward. 



Lesson #4 – How Do I Become More Confident?

Simple tweaks to your usual thinking can make the difference for building confidence.

  • Know your strengths and weaknesses
    •  Everyone has their own set of strengths and weaknesses. By discovering what these are for you, and working to improve them, you will have more reason to be self-confident.
  • Give Yourself A Break
    • Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody has those days. If you can give other people permission to make a mistake and learn from it, why not give the same opportunity to yourself? If someone gives negative feedback, don’t take it close to heart. Use it as a learning experience.
  • Accept Positive Comments and Give Them To Yourself
    • When someone gives you a compliment, accept it! You can thank them for their kind words, and add that compliment to the part of your thoughts that is fighting negative self-talk. Also, don’t forget to compliment yourself when you deserve it.
  • Stay Optimistic and Positive
    • Positive thoughts will make for a positive life. Negative self-talk, complaining too much, and giving constant criticism to yourself will bring a sad and gloomy life. You have the power to change this.


Related: Know Your Strengths and How To Use Them

Building Confidence

Lesson #5 – How Can I Help Someone Else With Low Self-Confidence/Self-Esteem?

As you can see, building confidence isn’t something that is done instantaneously.

Eliminating bad habits and implementing good habits are a great start to growing more confidence and self-esteem. The secret is consistency!

If you have a friend or family member who is experiencing low confidence, you can start helping them by just being a good friend. Don’t feed into their negative self-talk, you need to be a positive influence for them.

Here are more tips for how you can help a friend with low self confidence:

  • Give compliments and recognize their achievements
  • Combat negative self-talk they may have, and give real reasons as to why it isn’t true
  • Bring them to new places such as social gatherings, and introduce them to new people
  • Just be there. If your friend’s low confidence stems from their weight, start going to the gym together. If they need help with speaking to other people, take up Toastmasters! Help them face challenges. Sometimes a good friend is all they need.
  • If they seem like they may be suffering from depression or anxiety, professional help may be needed. Have a discussion about the benefits of counseling or therapy. That is to say, low self-esteem is often rooted by something deeper than what you see on the surface.


What problems do you face with confidence?

Leave a comment below!


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